Caregiver Chronicles: Choosing Familiar and Rejecting Change

Sam and I had a big day yesterday. Helen Singh, one of our missionaries in India, is here for a few weeks. She'd offered to cook a traditional Indian curry for our Home Office staff. She's an impressive woman and I wanted a chance to spend a little time with her, so I planned to go.

The only problem was no sitter for Sam. Since God hadn't sent someone to help, I decided to take Sam with me. He loves going and he loves being around people, so I thought it would be the perfect outing. 

It was. Sorta.

Helen warned us the curry was spicy, so Sam said, "Don't you put much on my plate. I'm not eating spicy food." Helen was right. (It was spicy but delicious.) Sam was right, too. He ate one bite.

"How about some chocolate cake, Sam?" He loves chocolate cake, so I felt sure he'd eat it. I gave him a big piece. It turns out he loves Jamie's chocolate cake. Not all chocolate cake. (Jamie is Sam's now-deceased wife.) 

I was truly surprised when he said, "I'll just eat when we get back home." What he really wanted was pureed roast, mashed potatoes, peas, and Ensure. 

Sam said he wanted to try something new but, when confronted with new, what he actually wanted was something familiar.

If we're honest, most of us, when encountering something new that's not entirely comfortable, will want to rush back to the familiar. All too often, that's exactly what we do.

The problem with chasing the familiar instead of embracing the adventure comes when the adventure is God-sent. 

Whether it's a new job, a new home, a new routine, or a new baby in the family, change is unsettling. Sometimes, it's downright hard. If we equate familiar with easy, it's no wonder we want to reject hard to get the easy again.

When Jesus called us to follow Him, He didn't say one word about easy. Or about familiar. What He said was, in this world we'll have trouble, but He's already overcome all the trouble we'll ever have, so hang on, take heart, and keep going. (That's the Leanna paraphrase)

Someone asked me my requirements as a speaker recently and I gave him this answer. "My only requirement is certainty that God's called me to it." If we know the "new" we've encountered is God's will, we can be sure He'll go with us through it and bring us out on the other side. Even if that "new" is hard, we can also be sure it'll be worth it in the end.

We have the opportunity to do the same old things in the same old way and get the same old results. We can stay stuck in the familiar or invite God to give us a new adventure of faith. Which will we choose? Same old same old or something new?

I choose the adventure of God and love this ever-changing life He's given me.

Sam and I learned a month ago that life can change in an instant. One minute he was in his home of 60 years and the next he was living with me in the "big house." One minute I lived alone and the next I was caring for an elderly hospice patient in my home. 

The change was new and different and hard. It was also God-ordained and He's right in the middle of it with us. He's carrying us through and we both agree on one thing. It's worth it.

What God-adventure has He placed in your path? Why not embrace it and allow God to do something new in you and through you. It might not be comfortable, but it'll be worth it.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 nasb
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Please like and share to extend our digital reach. 

In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: The Sale Tops and the Power of Leftover Grain

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line

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The Sale Tops and the Power of Leftover Grain

The picture (above) might not be the actual field in which Ruth gathered the leftover wheat, but I think it is. It looked different thousands of years ago, of course, but it was just a plain field in which cut wheat lay on the ground. 

If we'd been there, we wouldn't have realized it was a miracle-birthing-ground, but it was. 

I'm still studying Ruth, and the image of that field is strong in my mind. When Ruth left their little home one morning, Naomi was an angry, bitter woman. That would not have inspired me to pick up a lot of barley nor to save my lunch for Mrs. Grumpy, but Ruth was a better woman than I.

She went into the field and asked for the privilege of poverty to gather the leftover grain. Ruth spent the day gathering barley. She was dressed in typical Middle Eastern attire, which covers pretty much everything, no matter what your religion. Talk about hot! When lunch came, even though she was surely tired and hungry, she ate part of her meal and saved the rest for Mrs. Grumpy. 

At the end of the day, she returned to their home. I'd have dreaded the trip every step of the way, but Ruth was cheerful when she arrived back to Naomi. "Look at what I gleaned today!" She was full of joy and praise. 

Naomi looked at the leftover lunch and the leftover barley (because it was the grain the hired gleaners had left behind) and something changed in her. She took heart again and began speaking blessings on Boaz instead of cursing God. 

The remarkable change in Naomi's attitude, born of leftover barley, surprised me so, when I read Ruth not long ago, I whispered a little prayer. "Lord, help me understand the power of leftover grain."

I quickly forgot my prayer, but God did not.

A few weeks later a friend of mine was selling some clothes on social media for $5 apiece. I needed a few tops with sleeves below the elbow and high necklines to wear on my upcoming trip to the Middle East. I'd discussed the matter with the Lord and stressed that I couldn't afford the price of new clothes. These were the exact style I needed and the perfect price, so I mailed my check and made my order.

When I pulled the tops out of the mailer, I was shocked. They were just like new. I'd ordered them because of the sleeves and the neckline, but I didn't consider the fabric. Soft. Stretchy.

Those "leftover" tops were as comfortable as anything in my closet, so I decided not to wait until my trip to wear them. I slipped on my new top and marveled at how comfy it was. 

"Leftover grain," the Still Small Voice whispered. I couldn't help but laugh. 

It wasn't the price, the neckline, nor the comfort that encouraged me. It was the clear answer to my prayer that exceeded what I'd asked. Those three tops have quickly become my favorite because they're my "gleaned barley," sent straight from God.

Naomi was filled with hope when she saw the grain in Ruth's bundle because it was an unmistakable answer to her prayers for provision and a reminder that she was not forgotten. She was not alone. Her God knew and cared. 

That's what those $5 tops said to me. My God can, and will, provide. He knows my need, and He cares.

I was filled with joy over God's provision, but I could have easily missed that joy if I'd demanded a different kind of provision. What if I'd demanded new clothes or name-brand clothes? What if I'd accepted only a certain color? 

An unwillingness to accept anything other than one specific type of blessing (or price) can rob us of the joy in God's gifts, and that's a terrible shame.

Today, let's ask our Lord to teach us the power of leftover grain. Ask Him to give us a willingness to accept whatever He sends our way and the joyfulness of heart to rejoice with His provision. 

"God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!" Ephesians 3:20 The Message

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Please like and share to extend our digital reach. 

In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: When Pondering Leads to Challenging the Body of Christ 

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line

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Caregiver Chronicles: When Pondering Leads to Challenging the Body of Christ

I haven't always understood the body of Christ. My understanding has been a slow dawning of enlightenment that started some years ago. As people have ministered to me since I've been taking care of Sam, I've seen in action what was once just a concept. It's literally incredible.

If we're a disciple of Jesus, a "little Christ" kind of believer, we're a part of the "body of Christ." 

You and me. Together.

One of the things for which Jesus prayed in the Garden before His crucifixion was for unity. Oneness. He was praying for the body of Christ to actually function as He intended.

When we become a disciple, we become a part of the body of Christ. I'm not taking about the First Corner Church of Tupelo or the Holy Church of Texas. We're part of the bride of Christ, the worldwide church, regardless of denomination. 

We're related as brothers and sisters in Christ, but we're also one giant body that's supposed to function together. 

It's a mind-blowing concept: all believers, all around the world, working together as one. United in purpose. No division. Everyone having the same care for everyone else. We're not to love only our unbelieving neighbor as ourself. We're to treat all Christians everywhere as we want to be treated.

Ponder that for a moment and consider how it would change things if we functioned as Christ intended. What if the world looked on us and saw us doing what Jesus said we'd do?

It would be earth shattering. World changing.

Paul wrote stunning words. "If one member suffers, all suffer. If one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." 

If one member suffers, all suffer. 

What happens then? If one member is suffering and that causes me to suffer, I should want relief for us both, and take action. That's the idea here. I might not personally be able to take the action for someone in the heart of Africa, but there are ALWAYS things I can do.

1) Pray.
2) Encourage with emails and snail mail.
3) Reach out to my connections who might be able to help.
4) Give if money is needed.
5) Go if you have the resources to be the hands and feet of Christ. If you can't go, help someone who can.
6) Pray without ceasing.

If you've been following this blog, you know how the body of Christ has ministered to me. It's amazing, isn't it? The body of Christ has done what the body of Christ is intended to do. They've borne burdens. Carried the load. Encouraged. Helped. Been present.

So, body of Christ, now that we've seen it in action and understand how it looks, it's time for us to participate in the same manner. 

Sound scary? Like way too much work? It's not.

If everyone in the body of Christ actually did their small part, we'd be a stunning organism of amazing effectiveness and unity and love. The world would be astonished and want what we have, because we'd have the kind of community the world has rarely seen. 

They'd want Jesus.

How do I know? Because that's what Jesus prayed and what He said. He made a plan He knew would work IF we did what He said to do.

Do you like the way that sounds? It's not my plan. This is Jesus' plan.

How do we do it? Simple. Today, let's ask our Lord to show us one thing we can do to help someone in the body of Christ who's suffering. (We'll probably talk about rejoicing with someone who's rejoicing later.) Once we've recognized the need and something we can do, let's do it. 

Take the first step, even if what you do is simply schedule a time to help, even if it's for no more than an hour. The knowledge that help is coming may be the biggest encouragement some people have all week long. 

Do it.

Then, when you're done, do it again. Make caring for the body of Christ a lifestyle, and recruit other members to help you. Before you know it, the world will stand in awe at the love flowing in and through you. 

I believe Christ faced the cross that grim night, envisioned how we would treat one another, and took heart at the picture of His love we would paint for the world. It's not just a good thing to do, it's what we're called to do. 

Love one another with word and deed.

What does that look like for a caregiver who can't leave her house? Today, in the midst of taking care of Sam, I'm baking a gluten-free cake for someone. I've edited a journal article for a professor in the Middle East. I've prayed, encouraged, connected, prayed some more. I've listened to people who're going through tough times, prayed big for them, prayed with them. I've written notes and emails. Grieved with those who've grieved. Rejoiced with those who rejoiced.

Has outreach stopped because I'm temporarily homebound? Of course not. If I can reach out to the body of Christ, you can, too.

What one thing can you do today? Body of Christ, let's act like who (and Whose) we are!

"...so that there be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 
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Please like and share to extend our digital reach. 

In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Caregiver Chronicles: The Gift of a Day Out

If this is your first time to read about the Sam adventures and the Caregiver Chronicles, you might want to read this post to see how it started: When the Time to Move Finally Comes

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line

#bodyofChrist 

Caregiver Chronicles: The Gift of a Day Out

Yesterday was the kind of day I've missed. Because Sam's so unsteady on his feet, I haven't left him alone for more than a few minutes. He's not a burden at all, but the responsibility is a heavy load. 

Friends have been wonderful about staying with Sam when I need to be out, but, yesterday, I needed a chunk of time.

I missed my last hair appointment and my bangs were in my eyes constantly. I do have scissors and thinning shears, but Lorie (my hairdresser) has warned me off them. I hate to admit it, but the thinning shears were already out. It was all I could do not to start chopping on those bangs.

Since I already had an eye appointment on Tuesday and a missionary I wanted to meet coming in to the office that day, we sandwiched a hair appointment in between. "We'll have to pray for God to send someone to volunteer with Sam," I messaged her. And we did. 

God sent Diane.

My friend, Diane, was in town visiting family for a week, and offered me a chunk of time to get some things done. I was able to make all my appointments and go by the office to do a few things. There was just enough time to go by the feed store to get horse feed, stop by the gas station to fill up my truck, and still get home.

For a few hours, I did what needed to be done to keep my life on track without worrying about anyone else. It was a mini-vacation that gave me more rest than I could have imagined. 

When I returned home, my caregiver mindset was firmly in place again. My sense of humor was back. 

As I moved furniture in preparation for moving Sam's TV and connecting his satellite service, I realized an unexpected truth. I can go the distance, and breaks are an important part of the process.

People have told me, "Even Jesus took breaks," many times, and it's true. Knowing that and being able to do it are two different things. Yesterday, the generous gift of a friend made it possible. 

In the world of caregivers, stepping aside from caregiving isn't always one of the options. Stepping aside for most of a day is rare. If you're not a caregiver, you likely know someone who is. Why not look at your schedule and find a few hours to give in the name of Jesus to the one who is literally being His hands and feet? 

Who in your church or community is giving long-term care to someone in their home? Why not offer a few hours once a month to give them a much-needed break? 

Those 5 1/2 hours yesterday were a gift of incalculable value because I was able to set my burden aside and let someone else carry it for a while. 

Bear one another's burdens. It's what the body of Christ is supposed to do and, when we all do our part, something wonderful happens. The world stands in awe.

Late yesterday, the new social worker stopped by. She encouraged me to take breaks. I tried hard not to laugh as I explained about all the help God has sent me. "The body of Christ has been wonderful," I told her and described some of the things they've done.

"That's what church is supposed to be," she said with admiration in her voice. And she's right. 

"Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: The Playful Pig and His Contemptuous Carelessness 

If this is your first time to read about the Sam adventures and the Caregiver Chronicles, you might want to read this post to see how it started: When the Time to Move Finally Comes

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line

#bodyofChrist 

The Playful Pig and His Contemptuous Carelessness

Andy the Pig was cute, especially when he played with his big purple ball. He was smarter than I expected, too. Andy quickly learned a few skills that I wished he hadn't.

Before he arrived, my brother-in-law and nephew helped me build an automatic feeder from PVC pipe and a pan. Our construction team had to work fast because Andy was already on his way to the farm. In the interest of speed, we used baling string to secure the feeder to the 4x4 post. 

Yeah. I know. Bad idea.

In our defense, it looked good at the time. 

The PVC pipe had an open top for me to pour feed through and a cut-out at the bottom for the feed to fall into the pan. If the pipe was secure against the pan, the feed came out as the pig ate it, in a slow but steady stream.

Andy soon learned that he could fit his snout into the feed slot, lift up his head, and flip the pipe off the pan. Of course, all the feed (two days' worth) fell into the pan at once. 

As soon as Andy had the pipe off the pan, he learned to flip the pan out from under the pipe and use it like a frisbee. He tossed the pan all around his stall. Needless to say, he ran through a serious amount of pig feed in a very short time.

Nothing I did helped. He practiced his little trick every day. It was, apparently, great fun. 

The problem, however, was that Andy needed the nourishment of the feed to grow. Without it, he'd be hungry. Without it, he'd grow weak, lose weight, and die.

Andy treated the nourishment provided for him with casual contempt, as if there was an everlasting supply. 

When I looked in his stall and saw feed scattered in the mud, trampled by the feet of that pig, I did not have warm and fuzzy feelings from him. 

This morning, I opened my Bible, looking for spiritual nourishment, and wondered if I sometimes treat my spiritual food with the same contempt Andy showed for the feed I provided him. 

God's provided a steady supply of nourishment for our souls with His Word, as well as with godly teachers and helpful study aids. Our job is to ingest the word of God and allow it to nourish our souls, so that we can grow strong as disciples of Christ. 

In our resource-rich Christian culture, we should be the most rapidly growing, deeply muscled believers in the world. I'm afraid, however, we're more like Andy than we want to admit. Because there's so much available to us, we're careless with even what we need to survive, much less grow. 

In some places of the world, a single book of the Bible is treated as precious beyond words. It's cherished and protected. Studied and shared. It's used to grow strong, deeply muscled believers who use what they learn to follow our Lord the way He intended.

How many Bibles gather dust in our houses?

I wanted Andy to eat his food, not trample it under foot, so I cut off his supply of feed completely for most of a day. I let him get hungry enough to eat the food provided for him, rather than play with it. When his piggy stomach was grumbling again, I gave him enough food to satisfy his hunger, but not enough for careless contempt. 

He ate. 

Just as Andy's hunger drove him to ingest the food provided for him, there are times when God allows leanness into our lives so that our spiritual hunger will drive us back to Him and to His Word.  

Let's pause for a moment and consider how we treat the spiritual food God has provided for us. Do we treat it with careless contempt or does our hunger for God drive us to take in all He gives? Are we growing and strong, or does our carelessness leave us weak and ineffective.

The purpose of pig food is to grow a strong, well-muscled, healthy pig. The purpose of Soul-nourishment is much the same: to grow strong, well-muscled, healthy disciples. 

The banquet is spread. Let's step up to the table and partake of the bounty God has given. Let's open our Bibles. Do more than a causal glance at a single verse. Study the Word. Ingest it until it becomes a part of us and changes us in ways even the world can recognize.

"Thy Word have I hid in mine heart that I might not sin against Thee." Psalm 119:11

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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Choosing a Cyberstalker/Christ Collision 

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line

Choosing a Cyberstalker/Christ Collision

Cyberstalking is a crime. 

I refuse to call myself a "victim", but I've definitely been the recipient of this crime in recent days.

Cyberstalking is using the internet to harass another individual via electronic means, including (but not limited to) emails, instant messaging, or chat groups. It may be done anonymously, but it can also be done by someone the target knows. The cyberstalker is, of course, the person doing the electronic harassment. Emails might not seem harassing to anyone else, but if they're unwanted by the recipient, and they don't stop, they're a form of cyberstalking. 

What's really strange to me is that the cyberstalker may not consider what they're doing as harassment. 

As a physician and an elected official, I've been in the public's eye for most of my adult life. I'm used to it, in a way. When I started the blog in 2013, my borders expanded in amazing directions. My posts have been read literally around the world every single day. 

Writers need readers. When you write blogs every day, you need lots of readers. You also need to interact with those readers, and you do that through comments and replies. I LOVE comments. I don't think I've ever deleted a single one. They're all appreciated.  (Please, make more!)

The blog was just one of the ways the cyberstalker was drawn to me. (Please, don't even speculate about this man's name.)

The cyberstalker met me in a church setting years ago. He was a married man with adult children. I don't actually remember any conversations with this man, but there must have been a few words exchanged in passing. 

I had no idea he had developed an inappropriate attraction.

When I started the blog, Mr. Cyberstalker was a great fan. When I started at Global, he was a faithful supporter. I knew he liked my blog a lot, and I knew he respected me a lot, too. There's nothing scary about that, right?

He sent lots of emails, but I didn't think much about that, either, because my name wasn't the only one in the address line. I didn't have time to read so many emails, so, to be perfectly honest, I didn't always open them and rarely read them. 

Eventually, emails started arriving at night. I already had the habit of not reading the emails, so I didn't read these either, and that was my mistake. 

I was being cyberstalked, and didn't even know it.

He'd read about Sam and felt like he knew him. He called, wanting to visit Sam and, for no good reason, I thought he was visiting for his church. I was uncomfortable with the idea, but I let him come. I had a hard time getting him to leave and, after he left, I was even more uncomfortable and just a little afraid. 

He wanted to come back. I said no.

A few days later, I noticed that the opening line of one of those evening email said something like, "I hope you're not offended that I've shared my feelings with you..." and I thought WHAT??? 

I was shocked, and angry, and frightened. 

I read back through the emails I'd ignored and I was horrified as I read of this married man's feelings for me. His feelings weren't new. The decision to share them was.

Imagine reading through two weeks of cyberstalking emails at one time. I was sick about it, and I wrote a email that, I thought, would stop all contact. It didn't. 

I blocked electronic access. It took me a while to get all the social media outlets blocked completely, and, during the blocking period, the comments/messages continued as if they were the most natural, sensible, kind thing in the world. I believe he thinks they are.

It was unnerving and I felt as if my words had no impact at all. I felt impotent and inadequate to protect myself in this situation. 

I hate to admit it, but I was afraid.  

I prayed a lot about the situation, but I didn't surrender it to the Lord. I thought I could make it stop. 

When another email came, after the email that would stop all contact, I sent another cease and desist email. 

I think it's over now. I hope it is.

I'm not completely sure how the cyberstalker got started with his obsession, so this is my personal opinion, but it may not be accurate. I believe he genuinely, and innocently, admired me in the beginning. 

He probably believes his feelings are still innocent. From what I've read, they aren't. 

Ephesians 6:11 tells us that we are to "stand firm against the schemes of the devil." The word translated as "schemes" is methodeia and can also be translated as "lie in wait." 

I believe in the difference between good and evil. Between forces of evil and forces of good. I believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God. As such, I believe Ephesians 6:11 is true. There are schemes designed by the evil one to trip us up and destroy our testimony.

The enemy of our soul is neither omniscient nor omnipotent. He doesn't know everything that happens, but he does know us, the things we fear, and the sins to which we're vulnerable. He can't be everywhere at once, and he has a limited amount of fallen angels, so he strategizes about plans that may take years to unfold. He sets them in place, very effectively, and lets them run. Somewhere down the road, that land mine of a plan is waiting.

In this situation, the plan included an intersection of two people with a possibility of destruction for all involved.

The enemy took something positive and twisted it. Mr. Cyberstalker, a married man, could have taken every thought about a woman who was not his wife captive and kept himself from this treacherous path, but he didn't. 

Scripture tells us, as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. (Proverbs 23:7) He must've thought  these things in his heart for a long time before he began to act on them. At any point, he could've taken his thoughts captive, but he didn't.

This, dear friends, should be a lesson to us all. When Paul told us to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), he meant it, and with good reason. Our unguarded minds are the playground of Satan and will drag us through unimaginable stupidity and sin if we allow it.

Now, with those thoughts rattling around in his head, we add the blog. My writing style is conversational. Many readers have said they like to read my blog because it feels like they're having a conversation with me. 

I write that way on purpose. That's how I want it to feel.

You all know you're not actually having a conversation. You know it's a writing style, but it's an easy to read style. Right? Of course you do.

When the words of the blog prick your heart, that's the work of the Holy Spirit. 

However, if your thoughts aren't captive and you read a conversational blog, it might seem to you as if the writer was actually speaking directly to you. She's not, but you might feel she is...and that feeling might join in with your other wrong thinking to drive you further down a confused and dark path that eventually leads to emails that are unwanted. 

The scary thing is that, if the emails seem sensible to you, you can easily be led to more aggressive actions by the enemy of your soul, even if you haven't yet. 

The only sensible and self-protective action for someone in this situation is to repent, ask God to cleanse their minds, and take their thoughts captive. Get medical help if needed. If what you're doing doesn't seem inappropriate, however, you won't see a need for repentance, much less change.

I hate all this. I want it to stop. I'm embarrassed by it. 

At first, I thought it was my fault somehow for not realizing the problem sooner. It took me a while to understand that I didn't cause this. It's not my fault. 

I struggled with the idea that I was overreacting. When I read back through the emails, however, I knew I haven't. Thoughts lead to words. Words lead to actions. This must end now.

I've done what I can to stop all contact from this man. I have unfriended and blocked on social media, and I've blocked his email address. I've notified my mission director, my pastor, and his. I have a full can of wasp spray by my front door, I'm keeping my doors locked, and I've reported it to the police, but did not press charges.  

Here's where my big decision point came in. These emails are not threatening but they are harassing and unwanted and, as such, constitute cyberstalking. He's committing sin in his heart in which I want no part. This is a crime for which Mr. Cyberstalker can be charged. Since Mr. C lives in another state, it probably falls under the jurisdiction of the FBI. (I'm not sure about this, but I think it's true) 

As a novelist, calling the FBI in appeals to me. I'd learn more about FBI techniques and they could definitely bring this to an end. I could write a novel about it. 

But what's happening now isn't fiction. It's real life. Calling the FBI isn't what brings great glory to God. Obeying Jesus does.

My first priority is not to novel writing, anyway. It's to Jesus. 

The enemy has had free reign in this situation long enough. He's brought circumstances to the point where I can easily misstep and do the wrong thing...I can do the thing that sends this man and his family down a worse path than they're on or the thing that glorifies God and makes us all stand in awe of how amazing our God is. 

Put that way, the choice is pretty clear. 

It's taken me long hours with the Lord to come to the point of surrender. God's goal in every situation is not to see what the FBI will do. His goal is repentance and redemption. (2 Peter 3:9) If I'm going to be like Jesus, my goal needs to be repentance and redemption, too.

I've done what I can to stop all contact from Mr. C.  

I can let the police handle it from here, or I can do what I always do. Leave it with my heavenly Father. He's my shield and defender. (Psalm 28:7, Psalm 18:2) Goodness and Mercy follow me all the days of my life. (Psalm 23:6) I'm surrounded by the goodness and grace of God. No weapon formed against me will prosper. (Isaiah 54:17)

If I believe all those things, and I do, then I need to act like it. It's not the easiest thing I've ever done, but I'm pretty sure what is needed is a Cyberstalker/Christ collision. 

I'm turning him over to God. 

That may seem like a lot of nothing to you, but I've turned people and problems over to God before. I've seen Him handle a situation. He can do what needs to be done, whatever that is.

The most important thing I've decided to do is exactly what Jesus said. Pray for my enemies. (Matthew 5:44) I don't guess Mr. C is actually my enemy, but he's certainly been a harassment to me. 

I'm praying Mr. C will repent of his sins, be delivered from his obsession, and set free to serve God with a whole heart for the rest of his days. I'm praying he becomes so crazy-in-love with his own wife that he'll wonder what he saw in anyone else. 

I'm not just praying for Mr. C, though. I'm praying for this wife who has been betrayed by her husband...that she'll feel loved because she is loved. For his children, whose father has been such a bad example, to see a new man in Christ and stand in awe of the good work God has done. For his grandchildren, whose grandfather did not have his mind focused on heavenly things, to find the wisdom of heaven in their earthly grandfather. 

I'm praying, too, for us, the body of Christ, that we will not pick up the offense but will use this opportunity to give grace and pray hard for the very thing the enemy thought he was preventing by all his tactics: Repentance and redemption for this deceived and deluded man. 

I've seen the enemy take someone captive and keep them there for years. It's tragic, but a situation of evil doesn't have to end that way. 

As Joseph said after his brothers sold him to the passing traders, "And as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." (Genesis 49:20)

That's how I want this situation to end. What looks like it's for evil can, and must, be turned to good to preserve many people. I'm counting on that very outcome. 

I'm speaking directly to all who're still reading: I hope you'll pray with me for a good outcome, too. Pray, too, that we (you and I) will not fall into the schemes of the devil as this man did, for the evil one has plans for destruction directed as us, as well. 
___________________

In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Jesus Wasn't a White Supremacist and Other Thoughts On Charlottesville

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line

Choosing a Cyberstalker/Christ Collision

Cyberstalking is a crime. 

I refuse to call myself a "victim", but I've definitely been the recipient of this crime in recent days.

Cyberstalking is using the internet to harass another individual via electronic means, including (but not limited to) emails, instant messaging, or chat groups. It may be done anonymously, but it can also be done by someone the target knows. The cyberstalker is, of course, the person doing the electronic harassment. 

What's really strange to me is that the cyberstalker may not consider what they're doing as harassment. 

As a physician and an elected official, I've been in the public's eye for most of my adult life. I'm used to it, in a way. When I started the blog in 2013, my borders expanded in amazing directions. My posts have been read literally around the world every single day. 

Writers need readers. When you write blogs every day, you need lots of readers. You also need to interact with those readers, and you do that through comments and replies. I LOVE comments. I don't think I've ever deleted a single one. They're all appreciated.  (Please, make more!)

The blog was just one of the ways the cyberstalker was drawn to me. (Please, don't even speculate about this man's name.)

The cyberstalker met me in a church setting years ago. He was a married man with adult children. I don't actually remember any conversations with this man, but there must have been a few words exchanged in passing. 

I had no idea he had developed an inappropriate attraction.

When I started the blog, Mr. Cyberstalker was a great fan. When I started at Global, he was a faithful supporter. I knew he liked my blog a lot, and I knew he respected me a lot, too. There's nothing scary about that, right?

He sent lots of emails, but I didn't think much about that, either, because my name wasn't the only one in the address line. I didn't have time to read so many emails, so, to be perfectly honest, I didn't always open them and rarely read them. 

Eventually, emails started arriving at night. I already had the habit of not reading the emails, so I didn't read these either, and that was my mistake. 

I was being cyberstalked, and didn't even know it.

He'd read about Sam and felt like he knew him. He called, wanting to visit Sam and, for no good reason, I thought he was visiting for his church. I was uncomfortable with the idea, but I let him come. I had a hard time getting him to leave and, after he left, I was even more uncomfortable and just a little afraid. 

He wanted to come back. I said no.

A few days later, I noticed that the opening line of one of those evening email said something like, "I hope you're not offended that I've shared my feelings with you..." and I thought WHAT??? 

I was shocked, and angry, and frightened. 

I read back through the emails I'd ignored and I was horrified as I read of this married man's feelings for me. His feelings weren't new. The decision to share them was.

Imagine reading through two weeks of cyberstalking emails at one time. I was sick about it, and I wrote a email that, I thought, would stop all contact. It didn't. 

I blocked electronic access. It took me a while to get all the social media outlets blocked completely, and, during the blocking period, the comments/messages continued as if they were the most natural, sensible, kind thing in the world. I believe he thinks they are.

It was unnerving and I felt as if my words had no impact at all. I felt impotent and inadequate to protect myself in this situation. 

I hate to admit it, but I was afraid.  

I prayed a lot about the situation, but I didn't surrender it to the Lord. I thought I could make it stop. 

When another email came, after the email that would stop all contact, I sent another cease and desist email. 

I think it's over now. I hope it is.

I'm not completely sure how the cyberstalker got started with his obsession, so this is my personal opinion, but it may not be accurate. I believe he genuinely, and innocently, admired me in the beginning. 

He probably believes his feelings are still innocent. From what I've read, they aren't. 

Ephesians 6:11 tells us that we are to "stand firm against the schemes of the devil." The word translated as "schemes" is methodeia and can also be translated as "lie in wait." 

I believe in the difference between good and evil. Between forces of evil and forces of good. I believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God. As such, I believe Ephesians 6:11 is true. There are schemes designed by the evil one to trip us up and destroy our testimony.

The enemy of our soul is neither omniscient nor omnipotent. He doesn't know everything that happens, but he does know us, the things we fear, and the sins to which we're vulnerable. He can't be everywhere at once, and he has a limited amount of fallen angels, so he strategizes about plans that may take years to unfold. He sets them in place, very effectively, and lets them run. Somewhere down the road, that land mine of a plan is waiting.

In this situation, the plan included an intersection of two people with a possibility of destruction for all involved.

The enemy took something positive and twisted it. Mr. Cyberstalker, a married man, could have taken every thought about a woman who was not his wife captive and kept himself from this treacherous path, but he didn't. 

Scripture tells us, as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. (Proverbs 23:7) He must've thought  these things in his heart for a long time before he began to act on them. At any point, he could've taken his thoughts captive, but he didn't.

This, dear friends, should be a lesson to us all. When Paul told us to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), he meant it, and with good reason. Our unguarded minds are the playground of Satan and will drag us through unimaginable stupidity and sin if we allow it.

Now, with those thoughts rattling around in his head, we add the blog. My writing style is conversational. Many readers have said they like to read my blog because it feels like they're having a conversation with me. 

I write that way on purpose. That's how I want it to feel.

You all know you're not actually having a conversation. You know it's a writing style, but it's an easy to read style. Right? Of course you do.

When the words of the blog prick your heart, that's the work of the Holy Spirit. 

However, if your thoughts aren't captive and you read a conversational blog, it might seem to you as if the writer was actually speaking directly to you. She's not, but you might feel she is...and that feeling might join in with your other wrong thinking to drive you further down a confused and dark path that eventually leads to emails that are unwanted. 

The scary thing is that, if the emails seem sensible to you, you can easily be led to more aggressive actions by the enemy of your soul, even if you haven't yet. 

The only sensible and self-protective action for someone in this situation is to repent, ask God to cleanse their minds, and take their thoughts captive. Get medical help if needed. If what you're doing doesn't seem inappropriate, however, you won't see a need for repentance, much less change.

I hate all this. I want it to stop. I'm embarrassed by it. 

At first, I thought it was my fault somehow for not realizing the problem sooner. It took me a while to understand that I didn't cause this. It's not my fault. 

I struggled with the idea that I was overreacting. When I read back through the emails, however, I knew I haven't. Thoughts lead to words. Words lead to actions. This must end now.

I've done what I can to stop all contact from this man. I have unfriended and blocked on social media, and I've blocked his email address. I've notified my mission director, my pastor, and his. I have a full can of wasp spray by my front door, I'm keeping my doors locked, and I've reported it to the police, but did not press charges.  

Here's where my big decision point came in. These emails are not threatening but they are harassing and unwanted and, as such, constitute cyberstalking. He's committing sin in his heart in which I want no part. This is a crime for which Mr. Cyberstalker can be charged. Since Mr. C lives in another state, it probably falls under the jurisdiction of the FBI. (I'm not sure about this, but I think it's true) 

As a novelist, calling the FBI in appeals to me. I'd learn more about FBI techniques and they could definitely bring this to an end. I could write a novel about it. 

But what's happening now isn't fiction. It's real life. Calling the FBI isn't what brings great glory to God. Obeying Jesus does.

My first priority is not to novel writing, anyway. It's to Jesus. 

The enemy has had free reign in this situation long enough. He's brought circumstances to the point where I can easily misstep and do the wrong thing...I can do the thing that sends this man and his family down a worse path than they're on or the thing that glorifies God and makes us all stand in awe of how amazing our God is. 

Put that way, the choice is pretty clear. 

It's taken me long hours with the Lord to come to the point of surrender. God's goal in every situation is not to see what the FBI will do. His goal is repentance and redemption. (2 Peter 3:9) If I'm going to be like Jesus, my goal needs to be repentance and redemption, too.

I've done what I can to stop all contact from Mr. C.  

I can let the police handle it from here, or I can do what I always do. Leave it with my heavenly Father. He's my shield and defender. (Psalm 28:7, Psalm 18:2) Goodness and Mercy follow me all the days of my life. (Psalm 23:6) I'm surrounded by the goodness and grace of God. No weapon formed against me will prosper. (Isaiah 54:17)

If I believe all those things, and I do, then I need to act like it. It's not the easiest thing I've ever done, but I'm pretty sure what is needed is a Cyberstalker/Christ collision. 

I'm turning him over to God. 

That may seem like a lot of nothing to you, but I've turned people and problems over to God before. I've seen Him handle a situation. He can do what needs to be done, whatever that is.

The most important thing I've decided to do is exactly what Jesus said. Pray for my enemies. (Matthew 5:44) I don't guess Mr. C is actually my enemy, but he's certainly been a harassment to me. 

I'm praying Mr. C will repent of his sins, be delivered from his obsession, and set free to serve God with a whole heart for the rest of his days. I'm praying he becomes so crazy-in-love with his own wife that he'll wonder what he saw in anyone else. 

I'm not just praying for Mr. C, though. I'm praying for this wife who has been betrayed by her husband...that she'll feel loved because she is loved. For his children, whose father has been such a bad example, to see a new man in Christ and stand in awe of the good work God has done. For his grandchildren, whose grandfather did not have his mind focused on heavenly things, to find the wisdom of heaven in their earthly grandfather. 

I'm praying, too, for us, the body of Christ, that we will not pick up the offense but will use this opportunity to give grace and pray hard for the very thing the enemy thought he was preventing by all his tactics: Repentance and redemption for this deceived and deluded man. 

I've seen the enemy take someone captive and keep them there for years. It's tragic, but a situation of evil doesn't have to end that way. 

As Joseph said after his brothers sold him to the passing traders, "And as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." (Genesis 49:20)

That's how I want this situation to end. What looks like it's for evil can, and must, be turned to good to preserve many people. I'm counting on that very outcome. 

I'm speaking directly to all who're still reading: I hope you'll pray with me for a good outcome, too. Pray, too, that we (you and I) will not fall into the schemes of the devil as this man did, for the evil one has plans for destruction directed as us, as well. 
___________________

In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Jesus Wasn't a White Supremacist and Other Thoughts On Charlottesville

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line

#sistersofstrength #bodyofChrist