Caregiver Chronicles: One Step at a Time

We spilled out of the bus at the foot of the massive rock on which Masada was built more than 2000 years ago. We could've walked to the cable car that would take us to the top, but we were parked so close to the steps. Climbing the stairs seemed the logical choice, until we were half-way up.

The view was breathtaking, if the steps hadn't already taken your breath. The only way to the top, where the real views were, was to the keep walking. I'd been to Masada before, and I remembered looking over the expanse of the Dead Sea. I remembered marveling at the building expertise of first century architects who had included everything from rainwater-filled cisterns to a sauna, swimming pool, and palaces. It was worth seeing again.

I kept walking because I wanted what was at the end of the trail.

That's how Sam and I are doing this hard end-of-life work. We want the blessings that await us, so we're pressing on, even when it's difficult. We had two good nights this week, when we were only up once during the night. If you count the time from when he went to bed until he's out of bed in the morning, Sam was up four times last night. So was I.

Caregivers know this routine well, as do parents of infants. It's not unusual, but it is hard, because disrupted sleep takes a toll. Sam will nap today and get caught up. I won't, and it's okay. It's just a season, and God wouldn't have entrusted it to us if He didn't expect us to see it through. 

Not all seemingly-interminable climbs in life involve caregiving. Whether it's a difficult employment, a troubled relationship, a rebellious child, or a chronic illness, we all have something that presents a challenge that "feels" insurmountable. If we believe what we say we believe about our God, we know it's not impossible. 

We make our way through our trials the same way I reached the top at Masada. One step at a time. Even when those steps are hard to make.

No matter how difficult our circumstances, we must keep our eyes on the goal, not the path. Press on. Blessings await at the end of the road.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14 niv

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Missing Laila

I'm missing Laila today. I didn't know her long, but I loved her, and she loved me.

She was a child when her father was killed in the Six Day War. Her mother died not long afterward of advanced breast cancer. Laila and her siblings were taken in by Christians. They were loved and educated and taught the ways of Jesus. 

Laila became a nurse and, eventually, earned her Masters degree  at Emory in Atlanta. She returned to her homeland to serve as director of nursing (Nursing Matron) for the Baptist Hospital there. 

When she retired as a nurse, she was asked to help supervise operations at the Baptist Conference Center. There was nothing Laila wouldn't do. I watched her wash laundry for the center in an old washing machine that would've been replaced long before for a newer model in this country. I helped her hang sheets on a clothes line behind the building. She supervised everything from cleaning the rooms to emptying the garbage. Nothing was too menial for her. 

She took care of me while I was at the conference center, and I was blessed to spend a day listening to her story. Laila told me she never married because "I had no time for it. If I was married, I wouldn't have been able to serve." 

She chose Jesus and never stopped serving Him. 

She was rushed to the hospital one night while I was there. After a few hours of IV fluids and treatment, she returned to the center and went right back to work. When she told me her symptoms, I felt sick. She didn't have a "stomach bug," she was dying and didn't want anyone to know.

She knew her time was short. "At my age, I've been thinking about the time when I'll have to leave this center. When the Lord wants me to leave, it will be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do." 

We wandered around the conference center together that afternoon. There was an old piano in one of the buildings. I was surprised when Laila sat down and began to play "Just As I Am," then one hymn after another. She stopped playing abruptly and hopped up. "I've wasted too much time with you. I need to get back to work." Laila laughed, hugged me, and planted a kiss on my cheek. "I love you, Leanna." I kissed her cheek, held her tight, and told her I loved her, too. 

In that moment I knew, without a doubt, that Laila would be gone before I returned on my next trip.

Laila had served her entire adult life on the beautiful hill overlooking the Jordan Valley. As it turned out, God never asked her to leave the one place on earth she most loved. She was taken to the hospital with what seemed an acute illness but, in a short time, she quietly left her earthly body and went to live with the Lord she'd served so well. 

She was in her eighth decade when she moved to her new home in Heaven. I'm confident she heard those words I most want to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." 

Laila loved her Lord more than anything, and her faith never wavered  She gave up most of the things we think are essential to have what no one could take from her. She was more content than most people I know. Laila was never "too old" to serve, but did whatever her hand found to do, and did it with all her might.

We need more Lailas. We need believers willing to stay focused on Christ and serve Him until they take their last breath here and step into heaven. That's who I want to be. Don't you?

The way to be a Laila when we're in our eighties is to be the kind of servant she was no matter what our age. Committed. Persevering. Loving God and others with our whole heart. Serving until the very end. 

Want to be a Laila? Start now. Love God. Love others. Don't stop.

"...Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master." Matthew 25:23 esv

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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Caregiver Chronicles: When Sleep Fled

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line.

Caregiver Chronicles: When Sleep Fled

Sleep has been in short supply around here lately, and its lack nearly did me in. Sam can't get up by himself without assistance. If he's up, I'm up, too. Sam has a "doorbell." The ringer button is on a cord around his neck. The bell part is portable, so I have it with me in my bedroom. It rings an eight-note chime every time Sam pushes the button.

I've learned to hate that doorbell.

It's very helpful because Sam can get me when he needs assistance. The problem has been that he needed help every two hours all night long. As you can imagine, neither of us has gotten much sleep lately. 

When the nurse came Tuesday, I had reached the trembling-tired stage. "We have to do something," I told her. "I can't take it anymore." 

She smiled. "It's not doing Sam any good either."

I hate to admit this, but I hadn't considered for a moment whether getting up every two hours was bothering Sam. At that point, all that mattered was me. I silently repented on the spot for not caring about my neighbor, but it didn't change the fact that I was still falling-down-tired.

"Why is he getting up?" she asked. I explained the problem.

"We can change his medicine. I see several things that might help," the nurse assured me. She contacted the doctor. He adjusted the medicine. They brought the meds and supplies back out to us before the day was done.

The first night, I slept 3 1/2 hours at one stretch, and Sam slept longer than that. I know. It doesn't seem like much but, when you're going on 1/2 hour increments, it's tremendous. Last night, we had only one time up. I awakened refreshed and ready for the day.

After decades of night-call as a physician, you'd think I could do this thing called sleep-deprivation. Apparently, I can't. 

What I completely forgot, in my sleep-deprived state, was the problem causing the problem. Once that was addressed, the sleep issue quickly resolved. 

My problem of utter exhaustion didn't happen because we had sleep issues. It was the result of a physical problem that prevented sleep. The only thing that could help was to address the root problem.

Most issues are like that. We see only the symptoms the problem has caused, but forget the sin that has put us there. We're broken people in a broken world, and it is sin that has caused our brokenness. 

Violence in teenagers isn't the root problem. Divorce isn't the root, nor is domestic violence, homelessness, sexual trafficking, or any of the other horrors we face today. The root lies somewhere else, usually in deeply ingrained hurt and sin. The symptoms can only be completely alleviated when the initiating problem is addressed. 

As a child, I drove my Mother crazy asking why. As an adult, I've found it to be an incredibly helpful question.

If the answer to why is sin, only God can heal it. 

Today, let's take a deeper look at the difficulties we face. If the origin is a sin that needs to be addressed, let's address it. If the origin is a hurt that needs to be healed, let's take it to our Lord for healing. Don't treat the symptoms. Treat what caused those symptoms. 

"...for He gives to His beloved sleep." Psalm 127:2

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Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line.

  

The Good Kind of Jealous

Maggie and Mamie, the Wonder Dog and her Wonder Apprentice, take great joy in chicken tail feathers. One day, Mamie found a terrific feather. She played with it, licked it, and carried it in her mouth for hours. When she sat, she covered the feather with her paws. Her main goal in carrying and covering it was to prevent Maggie from having it. 

She jealously guarded that feather.

Maggie, on the other hand, wanted it. It's rare for Mamie to find a good feather that Maggie missed, so I suspect this fine specimen had been snatched away. Maggie wanted it back. She was jealous of the feather in Mamie's possession.

This morning, I read about jealousy in James, chapter 4 and realized something for the first time. The people to whom James had written, Christians dispersed in the diaspora, weren't getting along too well. The problem, James said, was jealousy. One wanted something the other had. One wanted to do something the other didn't think right. 

Their seething cauldron of jealousy had created friction and sin, but it had also robbed them of answered prayers.

(Leanna paraphrase coming up) "You're so in love with the world that you're jealous for what's not yours, for things that don't matter at all. The friction is hurting you and destroying your witness. Let me tell you about God's jealousy. 

"He's jealous of the world that has ensnared you. He longs after you and pursues you with love. Why would you chase after junk when the King of Kings loves you so much?"

Why indeed.

As much as Maggie wanted her feather back, as much as Mamie wanted to keep the feather, the Holy Spirit longs to have us back from the world infinitely more. Why wouldn't we turn our hearts back to Him?

This day, let's consider the things that have ensnared our attention. What keeps us from embracing the pursuit of the Spirit? What prevents us from returning the love He so lavishly pours out? When we've identified that which keeps us from the One who loves us most, why not race headlong into His loving arms?

"...He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us..." James 4:5 nasb

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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Caregiver Chronicles: When You Need an Infusion of God

If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line.

Caregiver Chronicles: When What You Need is an Infusion of God

It was another long night, following a series of long nights, and I was to the too-tired-to-think stage. I needed quiet time with God as much as I ever had, but my Bible was downstairs and I was upstairs. The Message was on my dresser, so I opened it and found these words: 

"Let your love, God, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised." Psalm 119:41 

Because The Message is a paraphrase, I usually check the meaning to be sure the passage has been interpreted correctly. I opened the Blue Letter Bible on my computer. I won't give you all the particulars, but the KJV says, "Let thy mercies come also unto me, O Lord, even Thy salvation..." 

The word translated as "come" implies that the one coming also enters in. It doesn't mean "arrive at my door," but "enter intimately and remain here."

Psalm 119:41 is an invitation for God's love, mercy, and kindness to enter our hearts and remain there in such a way that we're not just saved but transformed.

Ponder that a moment...

How different would my life be if I allowed God to make Himself at home in my heart and change what needs to be changed? What if I allowed Him to infuse every fiber of my being?

If God's love, mercy, and kindness truly dwelt in me, I'd manifest more of those qualities. I would love as God loves, unconditionally and unendingly. I would be merciful to all, kind even to those who are unkind.

I'm not there yet, but I wish I were. What about you?

Today, we can take a step closer to that ideal. Let's pray with the Psalmist, (Leanna Paraphrase coming up) "Come in and make Yourself at home in my life, Lord. Change whatever doesn't suit You and make me more like You."

"Let your steadfast love come to me, O Lord, your salvation according to your promise;" Psalm 119:41 esv

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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Caregiver Chronicles: When You See Your Heart As it Is and You Don't Like it

Here's the link to the most read post of the last week: When Years of Hard Work and Progress Are Abandoned for Lawlessness

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If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line.

The Caregiver Chronicles: When You See Your Heart As It Is and You Don't Like It

The work of caregiving comes with many blessings, but it's not easy. It's night-and-day, never-stop, very-little-thanks work that sends you to the brink of exhaustion and rips at your soul. 

Fatigue battles with wisdom. It's in that soul-ripping place of exhaustion that God can do a beautiful work, if we'll allow it. (whether we're caregivers or not)

I know, because I'm there. 

Today, I'm scheduled to help with Fellowship of Christian Students at a nearby school. Our topic is Psalm 51, and I need it at least as much as the students.

David wrote these words after the prophet Nathan confronted him about his sin with Bathsheba. The psalm reveals a man who has seen the blackness of his soul and desires cleansing and renewal of a right relationship with God.

This morning, I've seen my own soul and found it blacker than I thought. I'm not as loving, compassionate, or patient as I believed I was. I'm not as surrendered to this work of caregiving as I hoped I would be. 

I thought I could do every act of service with great love, but I've found that my kind of great love flourishes when accompanied by appreciation on the part of the recipient. It's not as strong when the recipient is not grateful or is angry and frustrated because he wants to do what his body can't. It's not as strong when doing the hard, dirty jobs that involve unpleasant odors and bodily excretions.

It's in those moments that my heart rebels and cries, "Too hard, Lord. Too hard." And yet, if I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me, I can do this, as well. (Phil. 4:13) I know that truth, but, in the early hours of this morning, after a too-short and too-often-interrupted night, I doubted it. Resented the work. Wanted to quit. 

The roiling of my emotions threatened to overcome me, but dawn finally arrived. With it has come the joy of confession and surrender. The cleansing of forgiveness and restoration. 

This work I'm doing is for Christ alone. He, who washed the feet of the men who would betray and deny Him, has felt what I feel. Praise God He walked past His emotions to the cross that bought my pardon. Praise God, He can help me walk past my emotions all the way to the victory of a job well done. 

Confession. Surrender. Forgiveness. Restoration. This is the place we should start and end our days. It's the place that washes away the stain of sin, the pain of failure, the remorse of guilt. It makes all things new, including tired bodies and frustrated hearts.

As we begin our day, let's share in David's prayer. "Blot out my rebellion... cleanse me from my sin..." (Psalm 51:1,2 esv) Let's allow our Father to forgive and restore us so that we can do the work of love He has for us today.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: When Years of Hard Work and Progress Are Abandoned for Lawlessness

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If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line.

When Years of Hard Work and Progress are Abandoned For Lawlessness

When I saw the headline of the New Albany Gazette late Friday, I couldn't believe my eyes: "Blue Springs Suspends Police Department."

The article reported that the board of alderman voted to suspend operations of the police department for thirty days with plans to vote to close it completely at their next scheduled meeting. 

Alderman Malcom Leath led the contingent in favor of dissolving the police department. First-time Aldermen Andrew Grisham and Rick Bradford voted with him. Alderwoman Shirley Allen, grandmother of Alderman Grisham's wife, left the meeting before the vote was taken. 

Mayor Gentry and Alderwoman Lynda Bramlett strongly opposed the decision, but the majority prevailed. 

The article went on to describe other services that the board of aldermen for our small town (population ~428) are considering eliminating next, including building codes and the building inspector. 

They question the need for a city attorney and a judge. 

They've cancelled Blue Springs Day, an event at which the town comes together for fun, food, and games for the children.

The reported reason for all this is funding. I retired from public service at the end of June. The budget for the year was balanced at that time. Money was tight, but we managed to make it work. Funding? Really?

Is this legal? Can this new board undo all that's been done to grow and protect our town? Can they abandon the investment of the good people who helped us prepare for the arrival of our new neighbor, Toyota? 

After they've suspended the police, are we surprised those same people want to abandon legal counsel and expertise as well? 

In a perfect world, a town would not need laws or law enforcement officials. People would always do the right thing, love their neighbor as themselves, and treat others as they wanted to be treated. That's the goal for Christian behavior and how we will live in heaven. It is, unfortunately, not the norm in our society. 

We live in a broken world, full of flawed humans who press their own agenda before that of the common good. We, as a society, are all too willing to do what it takes to have what we want. Laws and enforcement of those laws protect a society from itself. It's how we prevent anarchy.

Scripture is clear. The believer is to obey man's laws. Respect authority. Pray for people in positions over us. Those of us in Blue Springs need prayer for the ones in authority more than ever. 

Please join us by praying that man's agenda will not succeed, but that God's plan for order will prevail. Pray that decisions will be made for the common good and not to further one man's personal agenda.

I have many questions, but no answers. Today, dear friends and prayer warriors,  I'm simply asking you to read the article from the Gazette and stop to pray for our town. Only God can rescue us from ourselves.

This is about more than Blue Springs. Consider this...if these changes can happen in our town, they can happen anywhere in our nation. 

Anywhere. 

Please, I beg you to pray for Blue Springs and for our nation. As a retired elected official, I am deeply troubled, and heartbroken, by this unexpected precedent. 

http://www.djournal.com/new-albany/news/blue-springs-suspends-police-department/article_dacbdf23-2c5f-5224-8bf3-b233b4c16a4e.html

A special called meeting will be held Tuesday, September 12, at 6 pm at town hall. The public is welcome to attend.

"Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, ad pray to the LORD on its behalf; for in its welfare you will have welfare." Jeremiah 29:7

"...the fervent effectual prayer of a righteous man availeth much." James 5:16b
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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: The Caregiver Chronicles: When Short Becomes Long

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If you feel led to partner with this ministry (US, Middle East, the digital world), here's the link to give your tax-deductible donations: Global Outreach Acct 4841 

Or you can mail your check or money order to: Global Outreach/ PO Box 1, Tupelo MS 38802. Be sure to put Account 4841 in the "for" line.