Monday, August 8, 2016

My Eye Trouble and God's Sufficient Grace

This time last year, I was struggling with a posterior vitreous detachment in my right eye. Lots of people have these, but it was my first, and hopefully only, experience with them. 

The detachment had caused a very large floater that drifted around my eye like a raft in a storm. My very wonderful ophthalmologist, Dr. Blll Brawner, called it an "overachiever" floater. It was large enough to obscure a significant portion of my visual field, and it felt a little like going half-blind for a nanosecond off and on all day. 

To make matters worse, I had a flashing-light that burst in from the side like a lightning strike intermittently. For some reason, it was worse at night. 

I jumped every time the lightning flashed, and I was less than graceful with my jumping. More than once, I tripped and fell down. It was embarrassing. 

I thought it would never end. 

I felt old and damaged.

Dr. Brawner sympathized with me, and promised it would get better. It would just take time.

I didn't want improvement to take time. I wanted instant relief. 

Surgery was possible, but it was risky. I didn't want risk, I wanted relief, so I passed on surgery and whined instead. Quite a bit. Mostly to my closest friends and to God. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one sick of my eye troubles.

I begged people to pray for me. I begged God to heal me. I listened for the still small voice, confident He would zap me with healing fire and drive that lightning right out of my eye.

He didn't. 

What that Still Small Voice whispered in my heart, instead, was what I least wanted to hear.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness..." 
2 Corinthians 12:9 esv

It would take time, and I would have to depend on God's grace to get me through. That's exactly what I did, but it was still a struggle.

Just like Dr. Brawner said, it eventually improved. I became accustomed to the big floater. It began to shrink a little. The lightning slowed and very nearly quit.

I stopped being offended by my body's failure and imperfection.

I thanked God it wasn't a retinal detachment and that it was improving. Once I stopped being afraid and quit jumping, the light show was entertaining. Mildly so, but no longer terrifying. 

The more I thanked Him, the more grace I had. 

Last week, I went for a follow up appointment. The floater had shrunk, just like Dr. Brawner said. The lightning had nearly stopped, just like he told me it would.

What brought me through, sanity intact, though, was not the tincture of time. It was God's sufficient grace. His power was perfected in my weakness, just like He promised it would be.

The truth we seldom want to admit is that God's grace is sufficient in all our weakness. No matter what we're facing, God's amazing grace can carry us through. If we're willing to accept what He so freely offers.

Do you feel weak today? Rest in the One whose power is made perfect in weakness, for He's the only one who can carry you all the way through.
Today is the second day of my MOT (missionary orientation and training) at Global Outreach. I'd appreciate your prayers as I strive to learn all I need to know for this next phase of my adventure in following Christ.
In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Freda Bush's guest blog
Here's the link to the worldwide prayer guide: The Prayer List 

#sufficentgrace #posteriorvitreousdetachment