For those who don't know, I am Maggie the Wonder Dog. I'm an eleven pound Shih Tzu, and I live and work on a farm in northeast Mississippi. If you haven't read about my exploits, you really should! I have lots of fun and lots of wild adventure.
I had a bad time of it a while back, though. You might've heard about it. My mama went to run errands and came back with a surprise. It was not jerky. Oh no! It was a baby sister! I do not recommend baby sisters. Your mama will not let you eat them and they are too little to play. They also look EXACTLY like GREMLINS!!! It was quite a shock, as you might imagine, but, being a Wonder Dog, I rose to the occasion.
Well, my mama says I should tell the truth. It was awful. You might not believe this but not only did I have to break in a baby sister, I had to take her on as an Apprentice Wonder Puppy!!! It has not been easy. Not at all. Mamie only wants to hop and hop. I have told her she is not a rabbit but she says hopping is fun. Kids!
Anyway, after a lot, lot of work, I have taught Mamie (that's my apprentice) to do her pooh outside. What a job that was! She said outside was too far away and when a girl's gotta go, she's just gotta go. Good grief! I don't know if I can make a lady out of her or not! I have been more successful teaching her tricks. That is only because she gets bits of jerky for tricks. She is not interested in learning. She is just interested in jerky. I taught her about jerky, so I guess that's okay.
You would not believe all she has learned. She can sit, but she hops the whole time she's sitting. I don't really call it sitting, but mama said it would have to do. She can shake hands AND she has learned to dance like a ballerina. No luck yet with sneaking like a spy though. That's okay, because spies sneak. They do not hop! A hopping spy is a terrible spy!
You might be able to tell that I have tried hard to be a good trainer for my apprentice, but I have to constantly be on my toes. It is a full time job training an apprentice wonder puppy!
A surprising thing happened. Last night my mama said, "Maggie, Mamie is going to have surgery tomorrow, so you will be by yourself for a bit, but she will be home soon." Surgery. I didn't know that word, but it had a hissing sound at the start and it didn't sound good. It made me think of the hissing snake that tried to bite Ole Lou. That didn't seem like anything my baby sister needed, and I told my mama so. She said, "Oh Mags, it's an operation. They will knock her out, cut her open, take out her uterus and her ovaries, make her nostrils bigger, pull her baby tooth, sew everything up, and she will be good as new before you know it!" Someone should tell my mama there is such a thing as Too Much Information! That about made me sick!
I do not like this "knocking out" business Mamie is very little. If someone knocks her out, they could smash her head. I hope they don't use a hammer for that! And "cutting open" is as bad as knocking out. If God wanted Mamie's parts out, He would have given her a zipper. That's what I think, but it sure isn't what my mama thinks. She's all about cutting. She loves that kind of gory stuff. Yuck.
Also, this business of pulling her teeth is just a bad idea. Wonder Dogs need teeth for catching chickens and shaking them. Oops! My mama just saw that. Sorry. Wonder Dogs need teeth for eating their delicious, healthy food that their wonderful, loving mama (who would never spank them for shaking chickens) provides. :)
Now, my mama said Mamie would be home soon. Soon. That's what she said. I waited all day long, but no Mamie. When Mama got home, she brought groceries, but no Mamie. I ran round and round but I couldn't find Mamie anywhere. First mama leaves and comes back with a sister, then she leaves with my sister and comes back with no sister! I don't know what to think!
If you know where my sister is, please let me know. We don't have good success lately with leaving and coming back. The barn cat left and when he finally came back, he fell over and got stiff as a board. I don't want Mamie turning into a board. No, I don't!
Anyway, lots of people prayed for me and Mamie today, and I thank you. Dr. Thomas did just fine with the surgery and even though he cut Mamie open, he closed her back. I was dreading her being open, so that is really good! He told my mama that Mamie would be able to breathe good now. Maybe she will be able to sneak like a spy after all!
I know you also prayed for me when Mamie and I were getting started and were having such a hard time. Since I have a little break from teaching my apprentice wonder puppy, I thought I would take the chance to tell you thank you for that, too. When you prayed for God to help us, He did. When you prayed for me to learn to love Mamie and for us to get along, that's what happened. We got "knitted together with strong cords of love." (Colossians 2:2). These love cords are really nice. Except when your baby sister is in the hospital. That's not nice at all.
Hey, I just thought of something! If you are having trouble with your baby sister, or anybody else for that matter, you just let me know. We will pray for you to get some of these good love cords. They are really nice. You will be so glad you did!
The end. By Maggie the Wonder Dog
PS. I forgot the Wonder Dog lesson of the day, so here it is.
Love and pray.
If you can't do that, pray until you love.
And that's really the end.
By Maggie the Wonder Dog