Saturday, November 8, 2014

The Wonder Girls Join the ThanksGiving Project

(The Savings Jar after seven days. $156.85 with simple efforts that are easy to do)

We've had some Wonder Girl adventures in the name of saving money the last two days. Things did not go well. In my defense, I have experience clipping show goats. In the interest of full disclosure, my son once took the show goat I had just clipped into the show ring. The judge said, "Son, this is a fine goat, but it seems to be limping. What's wrong with your goat?" My son, who had been taught the importance of always telling the truth, said, "My mom just tried to clip my goat and when she trimmed his hooves, she cut his foot." The judge just smiled and announced it over the loudspeaker. Everyone heard. The goat won its class. I was really glad the bloody hoof-prints were obscured by the shavings. 

I told you I had experience clipping goats. I did not claim to be good at it. 

When I got Maggie the Wonder Dog, that long Shih Tzu hair was more than the two of us could handle. I did what any former goat-clipper would do. I bought dog clippers. Commercial dog clippers. If I was going to clip the dog, I wanted to do a good job. I didn't. The first attempt was pitiful and left me considering Rogaine to speed the recovery. I thought I would get better with time. I was wrong. Eventually, I did what any former goat-clipper turned dog-scalper would do. I hired a groomer. Every month, I have paid Miss Amy $40 to do a lovely job with Maggie. It was worth it. Once Mamie the Apprentice Wonder Puppy joined our family, she, too, had a monthly visit with Miss Amy. 

We recently missed the grooming appointment, however, and the Wonder Girls were looking scroungy. Their hair was covering their eyes and it was a mess. The reasonable thing to do was take the girls to see Miss Amy. 

Because of the saving money project, I had a better idea. I would clip both Wonder Girls. Somehow, I managed to convince Sam, my elderly and very frail neighbor to hold a dog while I clipped her. He said I must have stayed up all night long to think of such a scheme, but I should have stayed up two nights and figured out how to do it right. Needless to say, he didn't think much of my attempt. 

I managed to get Maggie clipped. That's all I can say about it. She growled at me and tried to bite the clippers. It didn't go well. I did manage to get the hair that was blinding her cut, but Miss Amy I am not! 

We took a day to recover from Maggie's clipping and attempted Mamie today. I know how it looks. Please don't tell me. She needs serious Rogaine. It's bad. Somehow, her body hair clipping was not too terrible. The head clipping can only be described as catastrophic. Sam looked down at the dog in his arms and said, "You have her bleeding in three places!" I did not. I had somehow cut the hair so extremely short in three places that you could see pink scalp. She was not bleeding, no matter what Sam says. I tried to even it out. I made it worse. He suggested I stop while I was ahead, if you could call it that. Once we were done, he summed our experience up with these wise words. "All I can say about it is at least it will grow back. Keep her inside." 

Do not even ask me about pictures. If you come to my house, the dogs will probably be upstairs. Maggie might greet you. Mamie probably won't. Until her hair grows. She has a skinned head, a lion neck, and a bear body. Poor Mamie!! I am considering a dog-kerchief or cap until it grows. 

In good concience, I cannot really say that I saved money with this clipping business and, unfortunately I cannot say that it has not impacted my lifestyle. I didn't cry and the dogs didn't bite me. That is the good news. For that reason alone, I have decided to claim a $40 savings. (I still need doggie Rogaine). It brings the Savings Jar amount up to $196.85. If you need your dog clipped, let me recommend a good groomer. If you need your goat clipped, you are on your own.  

There is a saving grace. I did it for a good cause. In a few weeks, this money will be used to bless the Kingdom of God in some way. When that day comes, all this hair clipping business will not matter at all! Thank goodness!