Caregiver Chronicles: How Pro-Life Are We?

How pro-life am I? That's the question I've asked myself a lot lately.

Sam's been in my house for almost two weeks now. A hospital bed, oxygen compressor, and recliner now stand where my dining room was. 

Instead of supper club with food served on my grandmother's silver and china, I serve Boost Plus and soft or pureed food.

Instead of festive tablecloths and napkins, there's a roll of toilet paper tied on the arm of a potty chair with kitchen twine.

Live has changed at Greenbriar Farm. 

Twenty-two months ago, Sam's wife died and I became his caregiver. Almost overnight, I became his housekeeper, bookkeeper, cook, and errand girl. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

We've had amazing support from the body of Christ. People have done everything from mow my grass to feed Sam strawberry shortcake by hand. I couldn't have done it without them.

There've been a few people who've asked why I don't put Sam in a nursing home. "He's not family," they've reminded me. "This is just about too big a job for you." They're right, but...

I'm not opposed to long-term care.  I'm in awe of the way they care for their residents and their efforts to maintain quality of life. They do a very good job of caring for our elders.

The main reason I have Sam in my home is that, if Sam were elsewhere, it would be harder for me to discipline myself to go see him. If I continued my daily routine and added a daily visit at an out-of-the-way facility, it would be more than I could do. 

I know me. 

It wouldn't be my routine that would suffer. It would be Sam. I'd be full of good intentions and, before long, full of excuses, but I wouldn't see Sam every day.

Sam, however, needs daily visits from the people he loves. He's a people-person and he loves a crowd. 

His need matters.

I believe life begins at conception. I'm pro-life and I believe all life is precious.  I believe every life is of inestimable value.

One of the things I'm learning as I care for Sam is that, for me to be truly pro-life, I must be fully pro-life at every stage of life. If the life of the baby in the womb is precious, so is the life of the one who's at the end of days. 

Sam's life is precious...even when he has incontinent accidents, gooey false teeth, can't hear me speak, and it takes all I can do to haul the wheelchair down front in church (without losing it like a runaway train) because he wants to hear the speaker better. 

If I care about an unborn child, I must care equally about an elderly person whose bodily functions are declining, and who can do no more for himself or herself than a newborn babe.  (Sam's not there yet, but we will all be there one day.)

I must care about life from conception until the very end, the last heartbeat, the last breath. 

In this work of caregiving, I'm seeing, in a much deeper way, that we, the church, must move from pre-born pro-life to all-life pro-life, and I'm not sure we're there yet. 

If we were, we'd make a concerted effort to celebrate life at both extremes of age, not just in the womb. 

We'd be more intentional about visiting shut-ins, sending cards and letters to those in long-term care facilities, taking the time to visit, to sit and listen. We'd go out of our way to include our elderly brothers and sisters in Christ on outings, to make sure they can come to worship services as long as possible. 

We'd take the opportunity to learn from those who've experienced so much more of life than we have.

We'd remember our senior adults are family, and we'd treat them as such.

Are we pro-life or not? 

If we are pro-pre-born-life, we must also be pro-end-of-life. I don't mean to imply that we must attempt to prolong life with heroic measures that add nothing to the value or length of life. Instead, we must honor the end of life with time, concern, care, comfort, and presence. 

The question for us today is how pro-life are we? Do we value every season of life? Every age? 

The challenge for today is to line our values up with God's values and take action. 

Does He value gray-haired senior adults? Yes, He does. We, then, should also value them and show that value with our actions. Make a visit. Send a note. Include someone in an outing or a family or church event. 

None of us can do everything, but we can all do something. Let's do our part.

"Do not case me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength fails." Psalm 71:9 nasb

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In case you missed it, here's the link to yesterday's post: Guest Blogger Walter Aiken: The Myth-Understanding

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The Wisdom of Experience Versus the Joy of Smaller Jeans

Youth is not all it's assumed to be. You may be able to run faster and fit into smaller jeans when you're young, but youth is not often blessed with the wisdom of years. 

In the big scheme of things, the wisdom of experience counts for considerably more than smaller jeans.

Today, we're talking about aging and the issue of physician-assisted suicide/euthanasia.

This movement seeks to "end suffering" and "give dignity to dying". It's gaining support around the world. 

This is a terrifying trend. It opens up a vast array of "reasons" to speed the dying process. It changes our view of death. It denies the blessing of suffering. It makes abuse of the system much easier. 

This is a slippery slope down which our nation has begun to slide, and we must take a stand. Reevaluate death and dying. Reconsider what we assume will bring dignity and lessen suffering.

Life is precious to God. He holds life and death in His hands. What about "thou shalt not kill" (Exodus 20:13) is hard to understand? To take the ending of life into our own hands is nothing short of sin. 

All life matters because all life is valuable to God. It should be valuable to us, too, but I'm afraid we care most about all life that is just like our life. 

Skin that's the same color as ours. 

Age that's the same age as ours. 

Circumstances and choices that are the same as ours.

God is the creator and author of life, and He cares about all of us, no matter how old or young we are. He loves us, and He doesn't want to leave us in our sin. He wants us to change to become more like His Son, who said, "Love God. Love others. Follow me." He often uses circumstances to bring us to the change point we don't always want, but almost always need.

I understand that we spend an inordinate amount of money in the last year of life. That's partly because people say, "Do all you can do, Doc." They don't have any idea what that means, but I'm telling you something important. As doctors, we know how to do more than you would ever really want us to do. Quit saying that. Instead, say, "Do what's appropriate." 

Physician-assisted suicide/euthanasia comes with the dubious "benefit" of decreasing the amount of money spent in the last days of life. Hospice care that allows death to come in God's timing is a much better choice. 

We all die, and nothing will change that. Psalms 139:16 tells us that we have a pre-ordained number of days and God knows how many there are. If you think medical science can change that, you don't understand medicine or God. (Active killing is another matter.) 

I know that we love our families dearly, and we don't want them to suffer. We want them to live and be vital and active. There comes a point in all our lives, though, when the vital and active days are over. There comes a point in many lives when our last days are hard. Our instinct is to reject those hard days, to make them stop. Bring them to a end. After all, who wants to suffer? Who wants their loved ones to suffer? To linger?

Before we go further, let's clarify what I mean by suffering. To suffer is commonly considered to feel pain or distress, but it can also mean to sustain injury, disadvantage, loss or penalty. I am not referring to the suffering of pain. Medication is available to control pain. I am referring to the emotional distress of loss of any kind or of distressing circumstances. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with suffering. I didn't like it, but God has taken me through several big bouts of suffering. Some because of my own sin. Some because of someone else's sin. Some just the natural course of living and dying. It was always hard. I was always forced to seek God in a deeper and more personal way. I was always forced to rely on His strength and not my own. It was pure agony and, eventually, total joy. 

I got through it. 

On the other side, I emerged stronger. More resilient. More loving. More forgiving.

I've had to watch people I love suffer. It was agony, then, too. It drove me to my knees and kept me there. I grew. They grew. The suffering was not wasted. It never has to be.

This movement toward assisted dying cloaks their deception in lovely words that make it sound good and noble. Please, I beg you, look at the truth. Life is precious. No matter what form it takes. Who has the right to decide whether it should end?

Four states already have laws that make physician-assisted suicide legal. There is a move in Canada to limit conscience protection for doctors who refuse to participate. In fact, there are some who feel screening for conscience should be done prior to medical school so that those who would deny medical assistance with dying would, themselves, be denied the opportunity for a medical education. If that doesn't chill your heart, it should.

Voters in Colorado will vote for more than the president in a few weeks. They will also vote for or against a law that provides "medical aid in dying". The Denver Post is running a poll to determine the trend in voters' opinions before the vote. When I first saw this poll a few days ago, the numbers were chilling. 65% of those who responded to the poll were in favor of physician-assisted suicide. It's now 56% for and 44% against, after thousands of votes cast. 

I urge you to read the article, do a little research, take the poll. (Click here for the article and poll.) 

If you live outside Colorado, you may wonder why this matters to you. It matters because it started in one state. It has spread to three more. Now, a fifth state is considering this law. This is a disturbing trend. Do not assume your state will be spared. Those who fund this movement will continue to press their cause, just as they have in Canada.

When voters who are undecided view the results of the poll, they may be swayed by the results they see. It is worth the effort to make your voice heard.

Today, let's pause long enough to affirm our commitment to life, in all its forms, all its stages. Let's take a stand. Teach the value of life. Live it. Pray like your life depends upon it. As incredible as it seems, one day, it might.

"Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." Psalm 139:16 nasb

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The photo above is of my grandmother. She died at an advanced age of breast cancer in the days before hospice. Her doctor and nurses made house calls, taught us to care for her, and kept her comfortable. She died at home with family around her. She knew she was loved and valued every day of her life. Even when she couldn't speak, she could still hear us. My mama died the same way, at home, with family by her side. Loved and valued. They both died with dignity, and no one ever considered hastening their deaths.

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In case you missed yesterday's post, here's the link: Glorifying God in Everything We Do

Update on Sam's Kids Boot Project: $4425 raised so far. That's 368 pairs of boots! Still a long way to go, but we've made an excellent start. In case you still want to donate, here's the link: www.globaloutreach.org/sams-kids
You can also mail a check or money order to: (Be sure to put Acct # 4852 in the subject line)

Sam's Kids

c/o Global Outreach 

PO Box 1

Tupelo MS 38802 

Thanks for your help!

#physicianassistedsuicide #euthanasia #prolife