Sunday, January 12, 2014

Maggie's Birthday Plans

I am Maggie the Wonder Dog and I have a few things to say, but my mama said I could only tell one thing. That's how mamas are, you know. They are IN CHARGE. When your mama knows what to do, like my mama, you can just relax. She will take care of everything. It's great! Except when I want to say a lot and she wants me to say one thing. Guess who wins? But, saying one thing is better than nothing!

Anyway, I want to tell you about my birthday supper. It is not until tomorrow, because tomorrow is my birthday!!!! Woof! Woof! I am only a dog, even if I am a Wonder Dog, so I don't really know what that means, but I do know about eating. I love eating!  When it is your birthday, you can eat anything you want. That's what my mama says. What she really means is I can eat "something" I want. But I can't eat her chickens, and that's what I like best. It doesn't seem quite fair, does it?

My favorite thing to do is to chase the chickens because they squawk and flap their wings. It's a fun way to play chase. I love to catch them and shake them hard, but my mama DOES NOT like that. You better not let her catch you shaking one of her chickens. She will get mad, mad. I don't guess the chickens like it much either, because they never will play with me again after I shake them. Sometimes making friends is really hard. One thing I did learn was that shaking a chicken by the neck is not a good way to make a friend. 

Well I was trying to tell you about my birthday supper before the chickens got in the way. This is what I do not want: lettuce or squash. Those are just terrible tasting. I want meat.  My mama says that is good because you need protein to hold your cells together and meat is protein. I don't know what a cell is, and I don't know about protein. I am only a Wonder Dog. That doesn't seem like anything I need to know. I know about meat, though, and I'm getting some for my supper. I think (but I'm not sure) that I might be getting some duck for supper. My mama loves duck, too, so I'm hoping that's what we are having. 

Oops. We raise cows. I guess I shoulda said eat more beef! 

Well, my mama told me that protein like meat helps you grow and get strong. She said it's like when her breed, the Christians, study their Bibles. It doesn't seem much like meat to me, but she says it's like meat for their hearts. It helps them grow strong. That Bible-meat helps them get wise, too. That might be why my mama is so smart. 

Since it's my birthday, I hope everyone will have some of that protein stuff for their cells and celebrate with me. Hey, that goes together! Cells and celebrate! Anyway, here's the deal. I'm gonna eat the duck.  Since I am too little to read, you can have the Bible-meat. It's gonna make us both strong!! And smart!

The end. From Maggie the Wonder Dog