Saturday, May 17, 2014

Mamie has a little hopping problem

Maggie the Wonder Dog is my big sister, and she is trainin' me. I'm the apprentice wonder puppy and I am 18 weeks old. That's what Mama said. Really, I don't know what a week is. Well, I don't guess I know what eighteen is, either.

This appren'ice work is really hard. 

I love to run and run and run. I think thass the job I want!  And hop! I love hoppin'!  I like to hop on stuff, too, like Ole Lou, and Maggie, and the cats, and just everything! Nobody minds if I jump on them. Ole Lou just says, "You be careful there Lil' Bit!" Ole Lou is big and I can't even jump on all of him! But he don't care. Oops. Doesn't care. 

Maggie cares, though. She doesn't like it much. Usually she just shakes her head and looks at Mama. My neighbor was here yesterday when I was hoppin'. I was doin' great hoppin'! I was going so high I was jumpin' right on Maggie's head, and she was sitting up. I was thinking maybe I could grow up to be the Wonder Hoppin' Dog. 

You are not gonna believe what Mr. Sam said to my mama. He said, "I wouldn't care if Maggie bit her for that. She prolly wouldn't bite her bad." Can you believe that? All I was doing was hoppin' on her head! What's wrong with hoppin'? The worst part is what my mama said. I hate to tell you this, because my mama is really nice, but you should know. She said, "I wouldn't care either. She's driving Maggie crazy, and she needs to learn. Get her Maggie!" Can you believe that??? I think my mama tried to get me killed!!! Maggie growled at me, but she dint bite me. Thank goodness. (I sure can't thank my mama for that!) 

Anyway, Maggie had tole me about gettin' a little talkin'-to when you get in trouble and I got one last night! Boy Hidy! I don' know what that means, but Mr. Sam says it sometimes. My mama said (among lots of other things), "Mamie you need to learn that your freedom ends where Maggie's nose begins. You be nice to your big sister!" I don' even know what freedom is! And I waddnt hoppin' on Maggie's nose anyway. I was hoppin' on her head! 

Maggie tole me that Wonder Dogs give a lesson of the day. I wish they'd give me a differnt one than "don't hop on your sister's head"! Here's the Apprentice Wonder Puppy lesson but I ain't giving you one every day. Oops. Sorry. I'm not giving one every day. 

Don't hop on heads. Unless it's Ole Lou. 

Sorry. Maggie said that was a terrible lesson, and I have to try again. 

It's okay to hop. But it's not okay to hop on sisters. 

Okay. Tryin' again

Even something that is fun, like hoppin', stops being nice when it hurts someone else. Be careful what you do! 

I finally got it! And that's the end. 
By Mamie the Apprentice Wonder Puppy